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Why, Hello Monday!

I made the bed today! Yep, I did!

Why Hello Laundry!

Hello, Mr. Vacuum!

I decided I will do a semi-general cleaning... I have My Little People to help me anyways!

Okay, maybe not!

"Raine, don't go there!!!"

I asked Zy to watch her, and  look at what they were doing!


OH, and why hello to you too dishes!!!!

"It's okay Mom, i'll help you!"

It's okay sweetheart, They will help me today!

So, I Cleaned the bathroom, and gave the kids a bath!

I think I need to buy rubber duckies for Raine, The dragon is not so feminine-like!

Of course it's always an adventure (struggle) trying to change Raine.

But it's okay, Because Look at that face! :-)

Oh, and I finished the laundry too!



Almost "I Do!"

She stood there. Mixed emotions are winning over her whole being. Head down. Then all of a sudden she felt suffocated. She tried to gasp for air like every breath will be her last.

Now confused. She realized that she left the real world for  about a split second, that actually felt like eternity for her...

She tried to calm herself down the best way she could. She's good at this. Take Control Lhey...

She composed herself like how a sophisticated, confident woman would....

She gazed in her surrounding. People. A lot of them. And all eyes are on her. People muttering. Exchanging stage-whispers.

Those looks are so familiar. She dealt with these kind of people all her teenage and adult life. And yet she also mastered the response that she would give to them. 

She took a deep breathe and She smiled. A sweet innocent smile. That only she knows what it really means.

"Hey sweetie are you okay?" This sweet lady asked. She looks familiar. Aaaaaah she has entered a delusion. She can't remember what's going on...

Then she looked down again. This tiny sparkling thing caught her attention. Her ring. Her engagement ring. Then everything made sense. Reality came back like a flash flood. It's my wedding day. Yes, I am here to get married. It's so ironic that such a small thing like the ring could mean a million times bigger that it's size. It holds a greater value. A promise of forever. Not just a rock, a stone. The symbol it possess is what hold it's power. I am loved. I am adored and needed by the man who bestowed me with this tiny piece of shimmering particles. He asked me to share a lifetime with him.

Music... she heard the most beautiful noise... It was so powerful that she lost focused to all those criticizing eyes. She heard the sound of the piano. And then she remembered that it was her cue. She saw one person trying to catch her attention by waving at her. She is signaling her to walk. She obeyed. 

She took her first step. She could hear heart pounding so fast and hard. Her knees were weak. She felt like she was gonna faint. "I am happy. Very happy!" she reminded herself. This all doesn't make sense. Happiness and what she's feeling at that moment doesn't go together. 

Once she was warned that she would feel this way on her special day. She remembered that she just laughed at that comment. Look at her now. So nervous....

She was too nervous that she forgot to pay attention to all the beauty that surrounds her. All the beautiful flowers, just what she'd dreamed of. She had this scenario painted in her little head ever since she was a little girl. She  daydream's about this every once in a while... She had this perfect portrait in her memory.

Her wedding day.

The Candles... The fascinating sound of the choir... 

She's still walking. She forgot all about being nervous. Now she is happy. Truly happy. Like all the angels are singing with the choir. Now she feels like she's floating up in the clouds.

And then There HE was.
Standing in front of the Altar. The man of her dreams.
She saw his white shoes. Actually he was wearing all white.
He looked stunning. She's getting closer and closer to him. Every step she makes lead her to her knight and shining armor. And that is soon-to-be husband. Wow! My husband-to-be. She felt like giggling with that thought. She felt like a teenager going out on her very first date.
She is in complete ecstasy. 

Then she took that last step. The last step to freedom. Is it really freedom that she's parting with? Or was she really saying good bye to the lonesomeness of being solo? The deserted world of being alone. After this step, she'll never be alone again. Never again...

He reached out for her hand... She looked up to him and stared at his beautiful face. Aaaaah she could stare at his face forever. She took his hand. And she couldn't resist not to caress his cheek. She likes doing that. It's like she's transferring all her love to him with a single touch. 

Now they are standing side by side.
Hand in hand.
And they will face this day together. With both happy hearts and with complete understanding. Understanding that this is not just another ceremony they have to go through to sign a piece of paper. But this is a celebration of a commitment that they wholeheartedly will give to each other. A vow to stay together in richness and in poor, through sickness and in health, and till death do they part. Those weren't just words. Those words are alive to them. It may sound like a broken record to this man preaching and conducting this ceremony. But to them that verse is powerful. 

The man said more... He talked and talked...

Then the moment of truth came... He asked him a question

"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
He answered. "I DO!"

Then it's her turn to be questioned.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

*Baby Crying....*

Argh! 7:11 am 

Raine is awake. Time for a bottle. Dang, it was all just a dream...

Reading. Relaxing. Reflecting.

Unwillingly sometimes we suffer from such torment of life. Might also be a reflection from our actions that caused us to trapped ourselves in a mind-boggling maze .

More of the 'dark and cold nights'. A part of me that I try so hard to erase from my not-so-precious mind.

I came face to face with my own demons. A unthreatened woman. She appeared to be so strong. Very Confident and also, I saw No trace of happiness of whatsoever could be seen in her eyes. But how could that be? that the same woman was me.

How did I overcome that stage?
The moment that I experienced a strong doze of pain, I left my earthly body with an acceptance that hurting is part of living. A choice had to me made. Live or Die.
I chose to die. In spirit. But my physical self lived. I went through motions without feelings. Without knowing what hurts me and what satisfies me. I was in a different state of mind. It was a dark hole. An empty canvas. No life. No colors. No sound. No truth. All lies.

I was in a acute stage of denial. A mere fact that life was what I chose it to be. I had so much, but really had nothing to lose. Nothing to gain as well. So much for living.

Then I saw the light.

It was in front of me all along. Their eyes wandering. Their tiny hands trying so hard to reach out for mine for the longest time. But I was blinded with such selfishness. A crazy-fantasy that was built with my delusions. My fears. And Such cowardliness. I was insane to think that I can live my life without dreams. Without love. Without laughter.

And now I understand that it can never be called "living" without love. Without that glowing hope in my heart. Pain is only a state-of-mind. It's part of the pleasure. Through Pain Can we only really appreciate such satisfactions.

My strength brought only sorrow to the people I love.

Realizing that 'The little people' in my life comes first before anything. And that includes myself. I no longer exist. I am slave of love. An Unconditional kind of love. I am a mother. And the 'Little People' will learn from me. Happiness is what they deserve. A happy mother is what they need. Someone that they can look up to. With strength, full of life. And dignity. And that is what I will give.

I am a woman. A mother. Who Survived lots of turbulence. Died and lived all over again. With lots of scars from the past. But miracle healed the most wounded part of my being. My soul. I soldiered on through every delicate thread of shame and humility. And now I humble myself with divine acceptance.

And at this very moment? I feel blessed far more than I could ever dreamed of.

The path that I chose to travel on led me to the road I'm on now.

I've arrived my destination.
My Mate has met my soul.
And Finally I am whole.

I was criticized. But was never given a verdict.
I waited and waited for the storm to pass.
And never did enjoy the delight of dancing in the rain.

It's never too late to try. To live. To laugh. And to cry from laughing so much.
I forgive myself for being human. For making my mistakes.
And I finally learned to put myself up in the pedestal because it's where I deserve to be.
Every whipped of pain, each tear that fell, all the wounds that scarred,
All the scream that echoed, every slip, in every twist and turns.
Every bit of it is ME. Remarkably, Exceptionally ME.

And I stand so proudly to tell everybody.
That happiness runs through my blood.
And the air that I breathe is infused with HIS love for thee...

As grateful as I can be,

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A Love Story

I met a man and fell in love with him.
I allowed myself to believe in the magic of true love once again.
My heart absorbed all the great feelings that was las lacking in my life at that very moment.
Until I could almost picture my heart literally smiling.

A perfect portrait.
Something worth hanging in the wall of fame.
Happiness. Love. Excitement. Desire.

Yeah... I desired him. I Adored him. 
And Still.
Until this day. Till This very moment.
My whole being is satisfyingly filled with joy.

The solace I get just by looking at him.
No words. No Talk.
I let my eyes stare at him for a while.
I grant my 'yearning self' the pleasure of delight.

He is mine. And I am His.

He might not be physically here beside me tonight.
I miss you...

Your beloved hopes that this love of mine would reach your other side of the world.
May my very own breath keep you warm and safe this evening.
And Wishing that our paths would cross in the magical dream world.

Take me.
Own me.
Keep me.
And Never let me go.
For I vow to be your happiness forever.

Loving you gives meaning to this mortal life.
Your Love keeps my heart beating.
Your touch is my comfort
Your kiss soothes every heart ache.
From yesterday, today
and whatever tomorrow may surprise me with.

OUR LOVE is Absolute.
It's nothing like an unproven theory.
Nothing similar to fantasy.


You and I
We are here because we BELIEVED.

We had a dream.
This was all just once a dream.
Once upon a time....

And now,
We shall live happily ever after my King.


Clearance Babies


Today, we went to target and invaded the clearance section.
Grabbed a couple of cute dresses for Raine, 
PJ's for Zy Man, Some Jeans, A cute pug shirt for Jazz, 
and some accessories that are soooo adorable! 

And yes, I couldn't resist not doing a little photo session with Baby Raine. So here she is.
My Little Super Model.

She was busy playing with a bottle of Nesquik.

And then she got hungry.

Distracted. Wanted to play with Zy.

Then she got tired...

And fell asleep.

Could she be anymore cuter? Gosh, I adore her so much!

Cake, Candles, and Toys...

Raine got her 1st major bloody boo boo the other day from accidentally hitting her upper lip on the table.
And It's amazing how we react to such news. Jason called me on the phone and told me about what happened, immediately I felt a cold rush.
Felt like somebody just poured a bucket-full of cold water in my whole body.


Thank God that her lips are doing much better now though. It took a few hours before the swelling went down. But it was actually faster than we thought it would take.
And we're so grateful that it's nothing "Major Major!" :-)

Oh, and she just turned 8 months too! yesterday!

Happy Birthday Baby!

Time flies. Look at the 3 of them. They are all so big now.


Seems like it was just yesterday.

Guess who got some new toys? Zy Man.

EX-Man came to visit. Picked him up this morning and they went shopping. I choose not to talk about my relationship-story of my past. Because what matters to me now is my present. And my tomorrow...

Kids are magical. They have such strong imagination... I once had that. I think. And I wonder if I still have it in me. Probably yeah. Maybe...

The way they package the toys now is such a 'pain-in-the-behind' to open.
Don't you think so too? Well I don't know 'bout you, but I know I had a hard time getting the toys out of the boxes earlier, and assembling them is another totally different story. All I can say that getting the toys out of the box was much easier. Nuff said. LOL.

Always so curious what her brother is up to.
Raine: "Where all those noises coming from?" :-)

And He shall be called "Robotics" And Zy Man gave him that name. So Cute. And yep, He's the noisy One. My Jason left this morning to close on our house in Arkansas and to also deal with some issues that I kinda wish he wouldn't have to go through. But I know in my heart that in every situation, may it be good or bad, we can always find something positive. It's all how we look at the whole picture.

We control our thoughts, We control our emotions. We are in control of our every actions.
We become who we really wanna be.

Oh yeah, but in the contrary...

Today, I ate a big piece of chocolate cake. Just because I can.
I wasn't my best. I feel ugly and fat. And I don't like it. I dislike feeling this way. Negative. 
Too much from just preaching about controlling our thoughts huh?
Haha, But oh well, I guess i'll just blame it on the hormones...

Hormones took control of my whole being this day. And I surrendered.

I'm only human. I'm Weak.

Bull-KAKA!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Till Next time,

It's a small world after all...


Twitter... Facebook... It makes the world so much smaller. YM, SKYPE, Facebook chat. Made communication with families and friends overseas so much easier.

Yesterday, I met with a new-found friend through twitter. She is also a Filipino. She is a mommy to "nugget", A 14 month old cute baby boy (Real name Tristan) and she is also a working-momma! I admire her for being able to manage work and being a momma and a wifey. Kudos Sister!

I brought hubby and the kids with me, except for Jazz because she was at school!

Marie just bought a new DSLR, so I shared a few tips that I know. Nope, I am not an expert. I just shared tips that I read online too, and some tips that I've experienced myself. So here are some photos from yesterday's adventure...

Mama and Nugget

You guys can visit Marie's Blog HERE 


Mama being silly!

Me and Mr. Ralston

Future Superstars!

Zyon is such a character. I would ask him to pose for me, and I just know
that he will give me his 100% every time! So cute...

Is he the star or what?

Haha, So after we went to the park, we had a light lunch at p.f changs, yummy!

All I can say is Thanks to this plastic cup with lids!!!! If you're a mom, ya know what I  mean! :)


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