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Tough Night...


It was a tough whole day and whole evening last night for me. Around 2 pm I got a call from my mom that an ambulance is taking her to the hospital because her blood pressure went up so high to 241. Everyone in her work panicked and the nurse that works in the same care home where she's working advised that she should be seen by a doctor immediately. So she was admitted in the hospital.

After we picked up our daughter form school, we went straight to the ER to come see her. On the way, Too many things were running in my head ya know? what's wrong with my mom? how is she doing? she doesn't have insurance, I want her to get the greatest care as much as possible and so on and so forth... It's only my mom & I that are here in Las Vegas, My eldest brother is in Seattle and the rest of the family is still in the Philippines. So i'm the only one she's got here, really.

My kids, Jason, and my mother are my only weaknesses in life. Whenever I find myself in a situation like this that one of them is sick. I can literally feel my heart breaking apart. And It hurts physically too.  But I try my best to appear like I am so strong.

So, after so many hours of waiting in the ER, we got all her test results and everything came out good. Oh Lawd, I felt so much relief. Like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am so happy.

The doctor advised us that she should stay overnight just because her blood pressure is still higher than normal. And the only reason that they can give me why,  is because (maybe) of her meds. I guess medicines should be adjusted after a while or your body will get  so used to it that it wont give you any good effect anymore.

Came home, feeling better. And AS soon as I hit that bed, I was asleep.

And then  I Woke up around past midnight, heard my son sniffling and just restless. I touched his forehead and he was burning up. OH GOD. Fever!!! Argh!!!! I got up immediately and got some wash cloth to bring his temperature down. It was 103. I found myself going crazy looking for some medicine in all the cabinets. And I cannot believe that
we don't have one anywhere! What the Heck is wrong in this house? Oh it's the mother to blame. Im the one that should be responsible with everything. I'm a bad mom.

I hate dislike myself.

So, There's nothing else to do but to wake Jason up so he can go outside and pick up some meds for Zy man. And my dilemma didn't stop there.


ZYON HATES TAKING MEDICINE, I don't know, I guess all kids do. But Zy would not, I repeat, WOULD NOT take it. I tried all the approach possible. I did everything I could. Yell, Got Upset, Sweet Voice, Cried, Pleaded and begged. We even tried forcing him to take it, but he just spit it all out again. Worst, he got sick... He threw up after taking the stupid ADVIL. (Btw, they recalled Kids Tylenol.) Oh God, I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt so bad that I can't make him take the meds. I feel so out of control with everything, I feel like i'm the worst mom in the whole world. I felt so terrible.

Guess who won? Him... He didn't take any meds. None. So I stayed up all night, restless just monitoring his temperature down, round d clock with wiping his body.  Changed his shirt because it was wet from his sweat, and as soon as he started sweating his temperature just kept dropping down.

No good sleep for me. Because Baby Raine woke up early too. But she's just truly the best... she gave mommy a little time to take a nap while she  stayed in her crib, playing and just watching TV.

And MORNING time. Took my daughter to school, and needed to drive early to the hospital to check on my mom and take care of all the hospital issues. She will be discharged today.

I'm typing this inside Starbucks. I thought i'd sit down and relax for at least an hour by myself.
I feel better now. I'm glad my mom and my son is feeling better too. I m not a bad Mommy. I just have this days every once in a while... and I hope that it's just not me.

2 comments on "Tough Night..."
  1. what a day, huh! there are times that we get really overwhelmed by family life.

    You are definitely not alone ;) a lot of times I feel that I am a bad Mom,but I know deep inside I am just trying to be a mother of two active toddlers.

  2. Sit yourself down, focus on your breathing and talk to Jesus.


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